Well, managed to stuff my face silly for a week due to the postponed hypno appointment. But yesterday came around and off I went for my first "real" session. Had to see my GP in the morning as I've got bad back, and told him about this virtual gastric banding, and was all ready for him to look completely bemused, but hey, ho, he knew all about it and thinks it's great! Very supportive and gave me some good advice about how I might feel after the "op" and asked mt go back in 6 weeks so he could support me. I was really surprised and pleased by his reaction. Arrived at hypno person's place & had a general chat about my relationship with food (one of my better relationships in life, I must say) and taught how to do the Paul Mckenna "tapping" stuff - which actually, and strangely, does have some effect. Lots of mind searching discussions - then the hypno starts. Unfortunately, I'd not slept well the night before and I was really tired - and oh boy - her technique was so damn good I went to sleep! I've had hypnotherapy before so I know what to expect, but whether it was because of her, or just because I was wrapped up in a lovely blanket, with the lights dimmed and this soothing music in the background, I just zonked!

She said it didn't matter and that my subconscious would still have taken it all in. This 1st session is really only a prelude to the real stuff and I left with a relaxation CD which I have to listen to every day, a slimming CD which I don't start using until next week. a food diary and a "mood" diary. Went out for a pre-arranged curry with a friend and whilst I didn't expect anything much to happen straight away,  I really didn't each as much as normal. Now usually, I would have got home and had a kitkat or something, but I didn't want anything. The most AMAZING thing is that I've been sleeping really badly lately - a couple of hours and then awake for 3 or 4 hours and then maybe another hour or 2. But last night I slept for over 7 hours! Non-stop, woke up fresh as a daisy. And I hadn't even listened to the relaxation CD!

So this morning, I've had a filling, but reasonably healthy breakfast (the meal I'm most likely to skip). Poached egg on toast with 2 rashers grilled lean bacon and orange juice. Meant to weigh myself first thing but forgot so off to do that now. Got 2 more normal sessions before the virtual op. Definitely one next week - if she has a cancellation I'll do 2 next week, and then the op the week after.  Otherwise one the week after then the op the week before Xmas.

I'm thinking of going into a normal clothes shop and buying something that fits me. I'm thinking of my back not giving me so much pain which restricts my mobility. I'm thinking of being able to walk along the beach without being out of breath and tired after a few yards. I'm even thinking of doing some exercises. Quelles horreurs! Moi! Exercising???  I must have morphed into someone else.

So, feeling very positive this morning - is it the novelty of something new I wonder? Or am I REALLY going to go for this?

Right, off for my appointment with the bathroom scales (don't look anyone - I'll hear you all laughing & screeching when you see how much I weigh). And then onwards & upwards!!

Thanks for reading - please, please post any POSITIVE comments - I need all the support I can get!

Very down in the dumps about not getting started on this process. So to cheer myself up, I bought some Kit Kats. And a bottle of wine. And a syrup sponge pudding.....with some cream. Getting my drift....? Oh and just to top it all off, smoked a pack & a half of ciggies.

So will probably have gained another half a stone before I get started next week.

Very miserable. But the wine is lifting my spirits:-)

Nothing ever goes to plan.....

.......so, wake up looking forward to my first session this afternoon. Feeling very motivated and mentally psyched up - I'm really confident this is going to give the push I need. Then I get a text from the hypnotherapist to say she's come down with a really bad cold & sore throat, and will have to postpone until NEXT WEEK.
Nothing I ever embark upon ever seems to go to plan. So to compensate, what do I do? Make a batch of little cakes and eat 4 at one sitting.
Really mad and upset. So even starting this blog is not going to be taking the path I anticipated - nothing to say now. I hope I am still up for it next week. :-((

My "virtual" gastric band journey

Well, here I am embarking on this last ditch attempt to shift a lot of fat & blubber before I become permanently entrenched within my four walls unable to hobble further than the dustbins.

I had always imagined myself looking svelte and glamorous when I finally got to be Mother of the Bride.
With designer-made outfit, excrutiatingly uncomfortable and very high shoes and a hat bigger than the Greek deficit, I duly took my alloted place in the Wedding Party. And then I saw the photos.

Who had played this cruel and dastardly trick? Who had superimposed my head on some middle-aged, fat woman's body?

I knew I needed to take action - but that morphed into going out less and eating more. The more I worried, the more I ate. The more I ate, the more wine I drank.

And then my daughter blithely mentioned gastric banding hypnotherapy during a phone conversation. "Huh?" says I - "what's that?". She briefly explained that you get hypnotised into thinking you've had a gastric band fitted. Now, I'd seriously considered this surgical procedure, but I certainly couldn't afford it, and anyway, it scared me. Especially hearing about this kind of "baby food" diet you have to endure. So I started researching.

When I felt I had a reasonable grasp of the facts, I emailed 4 practitioners reasonably local to me. Well, obviously this is a damn fine business to be in, as I never heard a dickie bird from 3 of them - must be so busy making fat people thin that they don't need the business. Makes you wonder why they bother to pay for a website doesn't it? But number 4 contacted me. In all fairness, (and let's call her Mary, which is not her real name, but will do the trick) Mary was recommended to me by a friend, I didn't find her all by myself.

I duly explain to Mary that I need her to knock a good 5 stone off my body (preferably in around the same amount of weeks). Hmm, not so fast Fatgirlslim - apparently I have to do some work as well! Wouldn't you just know it wasn't going to be as simple as it sounded! But I'm a game old bird, so booked an "introduction" session (no charge for this, yippee) for today so that she could assess my suitability.

Mary was very nice, and she didn't show any outward signs of horror when she saw the amount of flesh wobbling around my small frame. So that was a good start. We had a bit of a chat about me, and we all love talking about ourselves, do we not? She did a couple of quick exercises to test my resistance. Apparently, she did note a little resistance on one of them, but this apparently means that she just has to use an appropriate methodology with me.

My part of the bargain is to listen to a CD every day between visits, and really be true to myself in that I WANT to lose weight. Well of course I bloody do, I mean, who'd want to look like ME, for heaven's sake. But I'm frightened - frightened that I'll lose the pleasure of food and all the rituals surrounding it. I live to eat, not eat to live, so would I lose my purpose in life? Apparently not. You don't lose the enjoyment factor, but get to enjoy maybe a two finger Kit Kat - rather than having to eat the whole four finger multi-pack before feeling you've had enough.

So, I'm booked in for my 1st session tomorrow and then session number 4 is the actual "operation". How silly does this all sound? Well, we shall see. Incidentally, you can't eat for 12 hours before the operation session, so managed to find a day when she could do an 8.45am appointment. Yikes, a jouney into the unknown.........I've always said I'd be the perfect hostage - they could starve me for a month and I'd still manage to put on weight.

PLEASE let this work.

Watch this space............